Expectations and wedding vibes

Every evening I come here to write something. Because I want to be consistent, but end up staring at the blank page. Sometimes I even write a few sentences and then get stuck thinking… it’s supposed to be my “sailing” blog so why would I write about anything else than regattas or trainings.. And then I just won’t write anything. Because my heart wants to write about other things too and break out of this “only sailing” thing. But then my head says it’s not the “right” path to take. That it’s not what people expect from me. That people expect me to be an athlete – and only that, whatever that means. I guess that you train like crazy, never lose your motivation, your nutrition is on point, your body looks like a fitness model’s and above all you have no insecurities. I guess this is the difficult thing for me… insecurities and expectations. Always trying to figure out what others expect from me and then worrying that I won’t live up to them, and at the same time resenting all of it. And also now while writing this I keep thinking to myself that this is not what I’m supposed to write, publicly, on my “sailing blog”, it’s not what’s expected of me. But one very dear person to me told me a wise thing: “No one expects anything from you” which is something I try to live by now when I’m trying to figure out what I expect from myself. So I’ll promise to try to do only the things that I want for myself and write, honestly, about the things I want to write about. And I know it won’t be easy but it’s something I need to do to achieve my goals. And one of them is my Olympic dream..

So the thing I actually wanted to write about was something much happier than this previous paragraph.. In the beginning of August I went to my first ever wedding as an adult. I’d been telling Piotr (since he’s older than me) to convince his friends to get married (about time, huh?) so we could go to someone’s wedding together. And there were I few which I unfortunately couldn’t attend because of my busy schedule. So now I got to go to a wedding which I’m super happy about. The oldest of my cousins (correct order..), Kersti got married. The wedding wasn’t exactly a typical one, so not a lot of games etc, but it was a very nice event with super amazing decorations – awesome job Stina and the apple trees! And I got to feel a bit like a princess in my beautiful long dark blue dress. I haven’t gotten photos from the married couple yet, but I’ll add the few I have in my phone.

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